Mental Health Journal - April 1, 2025 - April Fools And 42 Years Of Birthdays!
I call depression “the fog” because it moves in slowly, hovers for some time, and then lifts as slowly as it came.
April Fools was no joke for me this year! It was a hard morning. Living with teenagers is always fun! All the parents who have or have had teenagers can probably see the sarcasm oozing off the screen right now! However, I feel much better today than during most of March.
April Fool’s Day reminds me annually that I am about to turn one year older. This Saturday, the 5th, I will be 42. Happy Birthday to me!
One thing I wish I had had at an earlier age that I have now is a stronger mental health. My 20s and 30s would have likely been far smoother. I appreciate and am grateful for the journey because I have learned so much! However, once one gains a proper maturity and perspective, they will inevitably wish they had it earlier in life.
A Recent Depressive Period
I recently came through what was a very tough period of depression. I call depression “the fog” because it moves in slowly, hovers for some time, and then lifts as slowly as it came. This particular period of depression, the fog seemed to hover for a longer duration. It was difficult to navigate as it is through any fog, physical or mental.
Many years of therapy and growth have taught me that when the fog comes, I have to execute my plan. It involves staying away from anything that I don’t want to be tempted to give up. Depression lies to me and makes me think that nothing I do matters and nobody cares, and therefore, I should delete and give up everything I do.
I know this is a lie my brain is telling me. I have to wait it out. I have to hit the pause button and engage in other activities until the fog lifts. Far too many times in the past, I have given in, and when the fog lifts, I am left with regret, wishing I had kept everything.
Childhood Invalidation Is Real
As one who grew up experiencing childhood invalidation, this is one of the things that results from it. You have low self-esteem, and your brain can play into that during a depressive episode. You were trained at a young age to think that you don’t matter and you only exist for someone else. For me, I was taught that “other people do that but not me.” Since this was imprinted on my mind during my developing years, it is an area that remains a great struggle for me now.
Thankfully, I have learned techniques and strategies to minimize its impact on my daily life. I am far more hopeful this Birthday (April 5) than I have been in previous ones. Having tools in the toolkit to assist when the fog comes is a great source of self-compassion.
Mental Health Pharisees Are Annoying
I roll my eyes at all the Mental Health Pharisees that pop up from time to time to tell us all that clinical depression isn’t real and we just need to repent and pray harder. Trust me, it is not something one wishes to have, and those who live with it would not wish it on anyone else. And no, we don’t have any sin that needs repenting from.
We have an illness no different than any physical illness. We need medical care, and we need support. With proper treatment, many who live with some mental illness can live a full life, albeit with challenges. I have my own set of challenges.
I will enter my 43rd year of life this Saturday, and I anticipate another year of improving mental health. In many ways, those who struggle to improve their mental health are stronger than most because of the challenges we face.
